Tigers Lower Expectations in Media Blitz

The Richmond Football Club has again got on the front foot when it comes to setting expectations around what fans can expect this year.  In a media blitz not seen at Punt Road since the days of Terry Wallace, all coaches have been swanning about with journalists and appearing inside people’s radios as they try to paint a picture of what can be expected from the club this year.

Speaking on SEN, Richmond Vice Coach (Midfield and DogWalking) Wayne ‘Cambo’ Campbell said that fans shouldn’t set their sights too high. “Look, we gutted the club and cut the playing list deeper than a BHP mine in Africa. We let 14 blokes go, and it could have been 20. We pumped ourselves up for Round 1 last and then got smashed and took until round 10 to collect ourselves and by then it was too late.

“Now we have to some how put all that carnage behind us, get a bunch of blokes who couldn’t kick in the first place to kick properly and get a bunch of blokes who couldn’t remember terribly much at all  to stick to a game plan that might or might not work.  That’s not a big ask, that’s efuckingnormaous. If I was a Tiger fan, I’d be going to the footy to get out of the house and household chores, not because we are a chance of a win.”

Coach Hardwick was quoted extensively by the Herald-Sun in a two page spread and echoed Campbell comments. You asked me ‘Where are they at?’ . . . What does that even mean anyway? ‘Where are they at?’ They’re probably somewhere between here and training. I dunno, I’m not up their cracker every minute with a TomTom and a stop watch. That’s just weird. Ask the question properly.”

Not five minutes later, Assistant Coach Brendon Lade was twittering with The Age Journalists. “Look, you haven’t been to training have you? We aren’t covering ourselves in glory out there. It’s that bad that Jordan McMahon might get a game. Yeah, I know. Diafuckingbolical. So let’s all just keep in nice and low key. Nothing to see here, walk away and don’t make any sudden movements.”