Loading ...ASIO has confirmed to puntroad.com that officials at the Richmond Football Club have recently become “persons of interest” to Australia’s peak spooks.
Speaking from within a cone of silence, Director-General David Irvine spoke about concerns his agency had about recently installed Tiger CEO Brendan Gale’s pronouncement that within 5 years there would be 75,000 Tiger members. “Look, my problem isn’t with Brendon’s statement that the Tigers were the first team to have 1 million people watch their games in a football season. Nor is my problem the fact that this happened in 1973 and alot of those people are now, in fact, deceased and will consequently be very difficult to sign up again.
“My problem is that if Mr Gale does indeed achieve this aim, his Tiger Army would, in fact be the equivilent of nearly 3 divisions of soliders. As the current Australian Army comprises of 2 divisions, Special Forces group, and some reservists, he will have amassed the same standing numbers as what Chief of the Army Lieutenant General Ken Gillespie has at his disposal. Now, that would’ve been fine if Cosgrove was still around because his Tiger powers of persuasion, I think would’ve kept it all under control. But not now. And that’s why we’ll be following Mr Gales’ progress very carefully over the next few years.”
ASIO are believed to be particularly concerned because of the fighting nature of the typical Tiger fan. “I’ve seen then come out from a loss against Carlton or even Freo and they are just the crankiest bunch you’ve ever seen. Collingwood fans are mouthy and prone to public defecation, but I’ve seen Tiger fans rip up concrete slabs and smash player badges with their bare hands. Put a strategic and tactical genius like Gale at their head and you’ve got a bona fide threat to national security. If the thought of all that coming toward you doesn’t tighten your freckle then nothing will.”